(Hear me out, it's not THAT far off)
On March 11 I went into mandatory home quarantine, having returned from a business trip abroad. Landing in Frankfurt, Germany on March 4th, we turned on our phones to get the latest news: "mandatory quarantine for those returning from 6 European countries". The topic of conversation around the dinner table that night was how the world is going crazy over this small little thing. It will blow over. It will not kill that many people. They are being hysterical.
I have just finished planning and booking my Alta via 1 hike for the summer of 2020. I love planning. I love the process of reading the maps, figuring out my options. I love looking at my excel sheet forming into a plan. All I had to do now was wait for July 2020 to arrive. Little did I know how things will change.
Coming back home, I had no idea what to expect in 14 days of not leaving the house. I wasn't worried about practicalities. After all, I live in Tel Aviv, where everything I need can be delivered to my door. But it sounded emotionally big. And what about sports? I really should start exercising more, ahead of the AV1.
Turns out - I've been training for this my whole life. I'm an introvert, although I've worked hard to hide it. Most people don't interest me. Many of them scare me. Most of my social anxiety comes from not being invited to the party. I don't actually want to go to the party. I don't actually want to meet people. Too-long human interactions drain me. People make me feel unworthy and out of place. I'll never be like them. I'll never be liked.
On the last day of my mandatory quarantine a national "stay at home" order has been issued. No leaving the house for everyone. Not only could I not go out, there were no longer parties I was not invited to. Cue in the best 2-months of my life.
What has this got to do with solo hiking you ask? everything. It is exactly those same traits that mean that not only do I not have a choice (I don't have very many friends, and even less that would want to hike), I actually enjoy hiking solo: I don't have to submit my needs to another persons'. I don't have to apologies for what I like and don't like. For being hungry all the time or not being hungry at all. For choosing this trail over that. I don't have to trouble myself with what other people might think of me. I don't have to talk. I don't have to come up with an answer to "what are you thinking about now" (most likely, not in any specific order: "I wonder if I would have voted for the Nazis has I lived in Germany in 1932 (and not been a jew)" / "I cup of coffee would be nice right about now" / "oh, no, 800 more meters to go" / "I really should know the stages of the butterfly" / "I'm not showering in cold water again")
That is not to say that I'm free of social anxiety when hiking. I do worry about what other people think - do they pity me for not having a partner or a friend to hike with? do they think I'm lame? pathetic? a failure? I'm sure they judge me more for being a women on my own. I judge me more for being a women on my own.
But that's the best thing about hiking - it really does liberate from most anxieties. When there's no people around, there's less social aspects to worry about. There's only nature and you. And hopefully no COVID-19.
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